So, if you know me, you've heard me talk about my dreams. I've been an avid dreamer and connoisseur of dreams for most of my life, learning about their interpretation, B.C. and understanding their peace giving elements for many years.
In looking back, I've been comforted through life with passing dreams. I've also been alerted to forthcoming trials and tribulations by those same sleep induced notes. After surrendering my life the Lord (I'll refer to A.D.), the Lord blessed me with people in my life that helped me start to make sense of my dreams.
Therefore as I long to be with the Lord in daily life, I'm also comforted by the fact that my longing is sometimes (often times) met through my sleep as well. Isn't the Lord amazing? Â Â
I know for some of you who don't believe, you're thinking I'm a bit off, but so be it. I know for a fact that it's through His grace and love that He even allows me to see these amazing things in life, whether awake or asleep - God's that cool!
So this past week has been a soul-searching week, a very confusing week, as the only conclusion I can muscle up the words to describe is that I'm tired...really, really, really tired...exhaustion might be the better word for it. Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual...the lines are blurred completely and I can't make heads or tails of it.
I tried to and I have completely lost the relevant words to describe my fatigue, therefore launching many others into complete disarray and worry for me. Praise the Lord, I have amazing friends, coworkers and family that would even attempt to worry about me, pray for me and love me through this - I am blessed, beyond most.
As I tried to put words into my mouth, into my head, and they just didn't fit. I love what I do. I love the people I work with and am so blessed, so why the worry, the strife, the numbness? I DON'T KNOW...
And this week has not helped me put a finger on it. But what it has helped me do is know that with space, I think better, I run better, I work better and I love better. A lot better.
Now that my soul-rambling is complete, back to the dream, because I believe it plays an important role in my searching, in my praying and in the prayers that others have uttered for me.
My dream last night, took me to the desert, literally (see the pictures above). I was lying in the middle of my desert - outdoors and I felt this huge weight, as if someone or something was laying on top of me. I was face down and when I turned and rolled over to see it, I could see this small building or trailer (just like the picture above, except the coloring of the sky was as it's shown in the 2nd picture, that deep dark blue and purple) parked a ways from me and I could see that I was outside. My bed was in the middle of the outdoors and I remember that whatever was on top of me was leaving, and it was invisible. As I rolled over it rolled off of me. I remember talking to God and asking for His protection and knowing that He made it leave, I remember thanking Him. I also remember waking up in my own bed, here at home and feeling that sense of heaviness and consciously thinking that heaviness is gone or is going. The idea that it was leaving was awesome.
I really feel that this heaviness was a spiritual attack, that for the past few weeks an oppressive force has been over me. I know that I still feel a bit tired, but this morning I woke up with a renewed sense of purpose, of the ability to put fear and fatigue aside and to move forward.
Then was the secret revealed unto Daniel in a night vision. Then Daniel blessed the God of heaven. (Daniel 2:19)Â
Hence this blog. I've been having an urge (a serious urge) to blog for over a year. In fact for more than a year now I've had an alarm go off each Saturday that reminds me to blog...check the blog role to see how many times this has actually happened. Ahem...don't laugh, because it hasn't.
Anyways, my prayer is that with more prayer, some good talks, some sleep and some intentional devotion to punching fear in the face, you'll see a few more blogs on here...And more importantly, I will get back to doing the Lord's work, what he's laid in front of me. Thank you Lord for Kingdom work, big or small, you've put it in my path and for that I'm ever grateful.
Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established. (Proverbs 16:3)
Love, Kristi
PS - Keep dreaming!
Written 8/16/14
