It's a catchy little oxymoron, but it gets straight to the heart of who I am..."Complete" in Jesus Christ, "Unfinished" as far as the eye can see...(which makes life interesting, fun and sometimes complicated). As one of my favorite childhood songs at VBS (Vacation Bible School) says:
"He's still working on me...to make me what I ought to be,
it took him just a week to make the moon and the stars, the sun and the earth and Jupiter and mars. Â How loving and patient he must be...he's still working on me."
(*Catch me on a good day and I'll even sing it for you!)
And it's true, he's still working on me...because I'm just a sinner, and I can't keep myself on track. I have come to learn that I can rest in the hope that I am complete in Christ. "For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness." Colossians 2:9-10
That rest didn't happen over night, I would say I have been asking for that rest for years. And about 2 years ago I finally asked the Lord for His help in this, unlike before, where I kept trying to do it all on my own. Since then, many who read this may have noticed some changes (job, house, car, friends, lifestyle, weight loss). Some you may like (personally I love the new job & weight loss over the past year) and other changes not, but that's the way it goes, change is weird for everyone. What I don't want to profess is that I have it all figured out, that I don't mess up, that I don't sin, that I'm perfect...far be it from that. I'm still a mess, run around like a chicken with my head cut off, forget important dates, forget to send presents/cards on time, forget birthdays, forget to pay bills, forget to say hi, call or even stop by...I'm still a mess.
What I do want to share is what the Lord is doing, and how sometimes it surprises, amazes and confuses me...and how it's a struggle...but I'm choosing Jesus, and he chooses me right back - which is the crazy part - He loves me no matter how bad I am, no matter how I mess up and no matter what. It's so cool!!!
I don't want to just go on and on and on, but one more thing to get at the why this title and then I promise my next blog will be fun? Maybe? I'm not even sure what I'm doing here, but the Lord told me to finally get with it and just let it out! (I thought about starting this blog last fall but was too chicken.)
So...last Sunday at church we sang "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" and I couldn't stop thinking about how the words in the 4th verse just totally explained my daily battle:
4. O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.
So as I wander along, get lost, come back, wander again and all along find wonder in the Lord, I hope to share some of those thoughts with you! And feel free to share with me...
Written 3/2/13